The Boomerang Incident
by Exactlywhat
Summary: "By the way, Sideswipe... Thanks for the boomerang."


"Now get the slag outta my Med Bay!"

The familiar voice of the irate medical officer echoed through the hallways of the Ark. Nobody paid it any attention. It was a common occurence.

Sideswipe, however, was paying attention, his Twin sitting next to him, looking bored.

"Why are we here, Sides?"

"'Cause of that thing Spike showed us the other day. I got Wheeljack to help make this." With a smirk, Sideswipe brandished a wrench, which was bent and crooked, in Sunstreaker's face.

"Is... is that a boomerang wrench?"

"Yup!" Sideswipe squealed gleefully. "And you know what happens when you throw a boomerang. And this one looks like a wrench. And who here throws wrenches?"

"You started every one of those sentences with 'and'."

"... _And_ we're gonna sneak this into the Med Bay, andwhen Ratchet tries to throw it, it'll just come back and hit _his_ helm for once!"

Sunstreaker regarded his Twin thoughtfully for a moment. "You know, that might actually work. Once, at least. It'd be worth seeing."

"See?" Sideswipe crowed. "Now. Ratch, if he's on scedule, will be going for energon in a breem. We sneak it in then. And I wrenched... haha, 'wrenched'... anyways, I wrenched my hip joint when I tossed that minibot earlier." Sides gestured around the corner they were crouched behind toward the Med Bay. "While he's gone, we get in there, place the wrench, and wait as though we just wanna get repaired."

"You're getting repaired. I was just dragged along."

"And when he throws a wrench, it hits him instead of us!"

Right on schedule, Ratchet left the Med Bay, grumbling under his exvents. The Twins waited until he was out of sight before sliding into the deserted room.

* * *

"Of all the slagged up, fragging things to pull, it had to be _that_ tension wire..." Ratchet growled as he none-too-gently yanked it back into place. Sideswipe yelped.

"Watch what you're doing, Ratch! That hurt!"

"It's supposed to hurt, you glitch! Maybe I'll finally manage to teach you a bit of caution!"

Sideswipe scowled. "Not like I tried to wrench my hip joint, Ratch."

"Get out of my Med Bay."

"Alright, alright. We're going." ~Sunny! Complain about your paint!~

~Wha- Fine.~ "But Ratchet, my paint is scratched! I came so you could fix it!"

Ratchet reached for his wrench, which, unbeknownst to him, had been replaced with the boomerang. The Twins tensed, instincts ingrained deep enough that even knowing it would most likely not hit them, they reacted.

Ratchet flung the wrench. It spun in the air, whizzing toward the yellow twin, but, before it hit him, its flight path curved. It flew back to its thrower, slammed into his helm, and clattered to the floor. He teetered for a moment before growling and bending to pick it up. The medic looked at it thoughtfully for a long moment, twisting the bent shape in his servos. Then, to the surprise of the Twins, he laughed. A soft, quiet chuckle.

"Cute. I'll hand it to ya, that was well played. Now scram, before I get one of my regular wrenches."

The Twins were happy to oblige.

* * *

Ratchet did a little reasearch on the human Internet. It didn't take long. He knew what a boomerang was, but, because of the Twins' little switch-out, he was a little more interested in them. The most interesting thing he discovered, though, was that boomerangs were once used for hunting. With this in mind, he headed down to the training room.

Technically speaking, it was often the non-returning boomerangs that were used for hunting, while the returning variation was used as entertainment. However, Ratchet knew this wouldn't stop him.

Just seeing Ratchet striding into the training room was usually enough to empty it. However, Prowl was there, and, unlike most others, enjoyed practicing with the medic.

"Ratchet."

"Prowl. How's that doorwing of yours?"

"Doing wonderfully, thanks to you. And thank you also for clearing the room. I can now practice throwing with no observers."

Ratchet smirked. Prowl had come to him, vorns ago, to get lessons in throwing average, everyday objects he had lying around to convert them into weapons. Namely, datapads. The things made surprisingly good weapons, when thrown correctly. The only downside was that they often broke on impact, which resulted in Prowl asking Wheeljack to reinforce a set of his datapads, making them heavier and less suceptible to cracking.

"Well, I know you'll like this. The Twins' newest prank. Got me good," Ratchet said, smiling.

"And you are not angry?"

"Nah. If I'm correct, this could be a great new weapon."

Prowl examined the wrench. Its smooth surfaces gleamed in the light. "If I am correct, if thrown correctly, this will fly and return to its point of origin."

"Sure. It's a boomerang."

"I have never heard of a boomerang before. I simply calculated the effect airflow over the edges would have. It is actually a very efficiant design."

"Hm. Well, I think it'd make a good weapon, so here I am."

"I believe you are correct. If I may join you?"

"Please."

* * *

Sideswipe was back in the Med Bay, barely a day after the Boomerang Incident.

"YOU STUPID GLITCHING FRAGGER!"

And Ratchet was mad.

Nothing new. Not at all. Nobody outside the Med Bay paid the shouting any attention, and those inside the Med Bay were watching Ratchet chew out the red Twin, praying to Primus his attention would stay on said Twin and not turn to them.

"WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO JUMP OFF THE SIDE OF A MOUNTAIN?"

Sideswipe looked down sheepishly while the medic fumed at him.

"YOU KNOW YOUR FRAGGING JET PACK ONLY LASTS A FEW MINUTES!"

Sideswipe shrugged. "It seemed like a good idea at them time."

Ratchet growled. "Next time, don't do it. I don't care who dares you or if it seems like a good idea. Don't. Do. It."

"Okay, Ratchet."

"Now get outta my Med Bay. I have work to do."

Sideswipe did as ordered, sliding off the berth and wandering to the door. Then he stopped. "But Ratchet, if I leave, who will keep you company?"

"I'd rather spend time with Megatron."

"Ouch. That hurts me, Ratch, right here." Sideswipe placed his servo on his chassis, right over his spark.

"I'll give you a hurt to complain about," Ratchet growled, and flung a wrench at Sideswipe. To everyone's surprise, he missed. The red Twin stared, almost horrified. Ratchet _missed._ The world must be ending!

Then something slammed into the back of his helm and he fell flat on his face. Ratchet walked over, smirking happily.

"By the way, Sideswipe... Thanks for the boomerang."

He picked up said instrument and walked over to his next patient as Sideswipe sat up, rubbing the back of his helm.

"What have I done?" the Twin moaned.

* * *

The bunny: Ratchet mistakes a boomerang for a wrench.

Couldn't resist.


End file.
